While taking a walk close to the Tagus river in Lisbon the other day, I passed by a small group of tourists. My ear couldn’t avoid catching the subject one of them was talking about: complaining about another human being. This was really brief and I can just remember that the content was “about someone else”. I automatically thought, why is human nature to complain? No matter where you´re from or where you´re living, marital status, social background, income, and so on and so on, in general human beings complain all the time!
And then, Eureka! I said to myself, that´s exactly it, that´s what I do for a living: to show people how to reverse engineer that process! To turn that complaining state of mind into happiness and being grateful for what they have on a daily basis.
While the concept seems easy enough, I can guarantee from experience that it´s quite demanding. And when I mean demanding, I mean for the rest of your life. This is not something you just learn, apply and that´s it. It requires self-awareness, discipline and big time commitment to change yourself, to make yourself a better person regardless of the environment or challenges placed upon you. It´s about how you tackle hard times, how you grow from them and keep a positive attitude. You really have to imagine it as something you´ll be doing until the end of your days. And that´s fascinating!
Here´s human nature at work: guy meets a friend and starts complaining about another guy that did this and that at work and why, and it shouldn’t have been like that, and now it´s gonna end up being like this and blah blah. Did this kind of talk make you grow? Did you learn something from it? Are you now more inclined to listen to more of the same crap from this person (most of the times family and friends) in another occasion? I´m hoping your reply is NO.
Still, we can´t deny that we´ve been there at some point of our life or occasion. But gladly enough, we were able to change. And that´s what most people fear, CHANGE.
Changing is hard. It´s hard work. It´s for life! It´s all the time! It´s non-stop. Are you still with me? Good, this way I know that you´re a tough (but gentle) person.
The biggest resistance of mankind is towards changing. From the tiniest detail to the the big challenge, the same kind of resistance manifests when we bring change into our routines. And that´s why most of us fall into the complaining saga. I call it saga because if you don´t take action to change that state of mind, it will stick with you until you die (which it´s like forever). And that´s kinda sad, don’t you think?
Surround yourself by people who are interesting, who challenge you, that push you further to grow and learn an be better. You have to be conscious enough to understand that you probably have to let some of those negative persons out of your life, because their “content” doesn’t pull you up, doesn’t make you cheerful or happy or in a great mood when each one goes home after some time spent together. This doesn’t translate as you being mean or careless, it´s just what it is.
Treat everyone the same way, whether´s the guy that parks your car or swipes the streets, the man in the expensive suit or the lady with the Vuitton bag, be kind, be gentle, polite, and you will build strong relationships wherever you´ll be passing by. If you show genuine care and respect towards others, they´ll retribute. If they don’t, you still win.
A final note, just don’t expect other people to change, that just doesn’t happen. YOU have to change. You have to be the example. You have to BE what it takes!
Take care,
Recent Comments