In these last 3 years I´ve learned quite a lot.
Life threw a few challenges our way but the outcome has been great and we grew stronger. Along the road, I had to make some harsh decisions which most people might consider selfish, due to cultural reasons. If you want to understand this in a deeper level, dive into Mark Manson´s article “An open letter to Brazil” and you will understand waaaaay better what I mean.
Just to quote him: “Most Brazilians have sacrificed a great deal for their family and their closest friends and because of this, they don’t believe they are selfish. But I believe that Brazilian culture is inherently selfish. Only caring about your family and close friends is still a form of selfishness.”
Think about it for a while (you can replace Brazil for Portugal or any other country that comes with this cultural crap attached).
Many people sacrifice their growth and self-development, their business and family harmony (wife/husband & kids), most of the times because of other family members (parents are included here) or close friends that are selfish and make you think that it´s your responsibility to solve their problems. This generates a cascade of negative events, health problems, and so on. And why? Because someone wasn’t mature enough to solve their shit and came to you for “help”. The biggest problem here is that more than 95% of times this works, we give in, we let go of our ambitions and goals to help someone that didn’t look at anything else besides his/her bellybutton. Most of the times we end up accepting to help because of a sense of guilt and a kind of “it´s my responsibility in a way…” Let me tell you something, it´s not!
And now I´m gonna challenge you, STOP compromising your life for problems thats are not yours! Can you do it? And don’t worry, you are not being selfish, you are being mature and teaching people that whatever happened in their life, it´n on them, it´s their responsibility and no one else´s business.
Let me know if you´re struggling with this and I can share a few tips with you.
Think about your wellbeing, other people´s problems it´s theirs to solve. You come first, because if you are not good with yourself you can´t help those who really need!
Last tip, if you are part of a tribe that is making you positive and happy, stick with them! They are valuable, priceless, their friendship and presence in your life is a beacon of positiveness and inspiration. Those are the ones you should value and be grateful to be part of your life, family or not.
Take care!
Recent Comments